So a hot dog, a pepsi, and a brownie walk into a bar...

Gifts… They’re awesome to get.  At least that’s what most people like to think.  Personally, I can’t stand getting them. I always feel like I’m taking advantage of people when they offer me things and I accept.  For example, right now I’m drinking a Pepsi that someone just gave me along with hot dogs and a brownie.  I ate it, out of respect for their hospitality, even though I’m the one that’s supposed to be hospitable. 

Oh No, My Life! #3

Kindergarten Concerto in D - Second Movement

Well, while I was in the proverbial Cootie Corner, to which I was doomed for the remainder of my years at Rosenwald Dumbar Elementary, I quickly and painfully came to the realization that pain is no fun.  Now, keep this in mind, my toadies, that this pain of which I speak was all accidental, and in no way caused by anyone except for inanimate objects. 

Oh No, My Life! #2

So, looking at this project called Oh No, My Life! I realize that it was originally modeled after my good friend Gank's book, called How I Made My Life Awkward, and How I Can Make Yours Awkward Too or something like that. Don't quote me. Here goes:

Kindergarten Concerto in D - First Movement 

Come with me, children, through the sands of time, through Persia, and into outer space.  This was the natural habitat of my mind in elementary school. Which is probably the one thing to which you can attribute the fact that I don't remember much from it, and managed to injure myself so many times during this six year period of time.

Oh No, My Life!

Okay, so a very long time ago one of my friends, who will lovingly be known as Gank, inspired me to write this book, called "Oh No, My Life!"  And it's finally starting... kinda. I wrote this a long time ago as a preface to it, but I never did anything with it. Enjoy...

Well, this is my first venture into writing, so I implore you to bear with me. I would like to preface this book, hence the word “preface” written up top, with how this crazy idea came to fruition. It started a year and a half ago, when I was spending some quality time with my wonderful friends, Gank, Jerica, Mark and Rachael. Gank was trying to set Jerica up with someone and suggested that she start dating me. I forget who it was, but-for hilarity sake- let’s say that it was Mark that said this: “Jerica! You should marry Jacob!” Jerica’s ever so magniloquent and loquacious response was “OH NO!!!!! MY LIFE!!!!!!” Thus the title of the book that you now are reading was born. This resurfaced not too long ago, when, as I was walking with Mr. Mark, I was talking about the fact that I had a song stuck in my head. This is a Swedish song. In Swedish, not English. Mark asked me how it went, so I sang it to him:
“Vi sitter här i venten och spelar lite DotA”
All that Mark heard me saying, as he tried to mimic me, was along the lines of:
“Vee manahahanahanahanumuauhmuhumuh………… DOE TA!!!!”
He asked me what it meant and I didn’t quite know what the exact translation was, so I paraphrased for him: “I’m sitting in my computer room, pushing lots of buttons and making people sleepy.” At this he burst out with laughter and petitioned me to write down my commentary on life. So, in response to that perilous and intriguing request, I am writing the world this colloquial book of my inmost, and somewhat passionate thoughts on…well…the world.

Something Interesting... (Shocker!)

So, I have this horrendously awesome habit of having these dreams that are.... well... let's say... a bit out there. So here's one of my favorites, just because it's in space:

I opened my eyes after slipping into my subconscious state.  Always an adventure in there.  Either way, enough beating around the bush, here goes.  I found myself gazing at the outside of a spaceship shaped like a giant upside-down bowling pin from the inside.  The inside was covered in this really weird carpet.  It was both all white, and purple and teal at the same time.  Purple and teal were split into these triangle shapes that didn't quite seem right.  It was almost like the inside of the ship was pure white, with a teal and purple stained glass light bulb that turned things to carpet.

Here Goes

Weeeelll... First post of my new blog.

Hello all, this is kind of a side project that I came up with on a whim. So, that being said, please bear with me if it's boring (Which it shouldn't be.)