Oh No, My Life! #2

So, looking at this project called Oh No, My Life! I realize that it was originally modeled after my good friend Gank's book, called How I Made My Life Awkward, and How I Can Make Yours Awkward Too or something like that. Don't quote me. Here goes:

Kindergarten Concerto in D - First Movement 

Come with me, children, through the sands of time, through Persia, and into outer space.  This was the natural habitat of my mind in elementary school. Which is probably the one thing to which you can attribute the fact that I don't remember much from it, and managed to injure myself so many times during this six year period of time.
I do know, however, that I spent kindergarten, first, and even second grade at a "nice" little school called Rosenwald Dunbar Elementary. You know, my advice for everyone is to not underestimate what you learn in elementary school.


Before we go too far into my past dealings with these veritable savages of six years, I would like to explore the etymology of the word Kindergarten.  This word of the German language was integrated into our own in the mid 1800's.  Literally translated, this word kind of makes me laugh, and shudder at the same time. This is because I get the idea of one, a cabbage patch, full of what else but cabbage patch kids; the cute little... things.  And second, I get this horrible image in my mind, very similar to that one megadeath album cover with babies being hung on a clothesline. (Don't get me wrong, I love children, but yeah... I have an overactive imagination) 

Allow me to elucidate what I mean by all of this. Kindergarten, literally, means "Garden of Children."  Weird concept, I know. And most of you probably know this already, but humor me, I'm a linguist. The word, coined by Friedrich Fröbel, was originally meant to explain to the masses that his method of education was similar to growing their minds like one grows produce in a garden.

Now, by the time Kindergarten rolled round for me, I was five, one of the youngest in my class. I wasn't really new to the area, seeing as I'd spent more than half of my life in Nicholasville at that point. However, I still got treated like the "new kid."  Looking back, I would've treated me like the new kid too. I was kinda awkward, and a momma's boy.  I wore those wonderful sweaters that we've all come to associate with Bill Cosby, and I wet myself on several occasions. So needless to say, I wasn't popular at all. It was a lot like in a movie I recently saw, called That's What I Am, in which there was a "cootie corner."  Well, I was in the corner.  I owned it. It was my rostrum, my podium, my world. I made do with it, and I enjoyed only having a few friends, none of which were popular.

Well, now that you have that little introduction to my kindergarten year, you'll just have to sit on the edge of that seat in wild anticipation of the next installment of onml.  Cheerio!