So, I think it’s been long enough since I’ve posted, and I think we’ve spent too much time commiserating with my Kindergarten fallacies. How do I end this saga? Ah, yes, recess. I’m not sure I remember what all this wondrous occasion completely entailed. What I do remember however is that from a very early age, I had figured out the point of Recess. It wasn’t really to get the kids active. It was to get them to interact with each other and learn how to deal with interpersonal problems. Well, I guess getting kids active was part of it. I remember playing watching others play so many games at recess when I was a kid. Heck, I even remember what the playground was like. It was red. At least the one at my first school was. My second school had an awesome one. I loved it. It was mad out of this stuff that was sort of like wood, but also like mud. The second one has recently been nerfed by safety laws. I say to that, “Boo you whore!”
That’s beside the point. I think that one of my favorite recess games was dodge ball. As I bravely hid under my cloud of cowardice I would sit there and be the meat shield for the rest of my team. I got really good at getting hit, but hey that’s the point. Right? My team loved me for it. I actually didn’t get hit as much as I tried to, but I distracted them like an idiot nonetheless. I think that it was about this time that I realized something about myself. I really like to be the one to take one for the team. I don’t know why, it’s not for glory of being good support, or for attention. I just like to help people out. For instance, I’m always the sniper. Whenever me and some friends are playing a game (let’s say Unreal Tournament just to appeal to all of those CoD fans out there), it’s understood that I am the one that gets the sole sniper rifle on the map. I run around like a shadow and kill people who have my buddies in a knife-powered headlock. It’s just what I do. Sometimes I like to be bold and run around while other people go steal the flag. But all this violence and theft is to say that I was the scapegoat or the ranger of the team. Sigh… silly government, shame on you for banning such a quintessential game. I actually didn’t feel like an outcast in that game.
That’s just one aspect of recess for me. To get the other aspect, we’ll have to go into a bit more detail on my life. I had a really good friend. Ashton was my best friend at the time. Looking back on everything, I could see that he was a pretty messed up kid. Stephen was my other friend, and he was even more messed up. Either way, we were the three amigos, the three musketeers. We would spend every recess together, even though we weren’t in the same class. I remember the adventures we used to have. There was this kid that was really annoying, so we would “spy” on him just to frustrate him. We found all the best places to hid from the person who was “it” while playing tag (on top of the playground where it took three people to get up).
All of this was good and all. But it was during recess that I started to realize the hazard of being me. I was quite awkward at that point in life, as has been explained in previous posts about skittles and the likes. But I hurt myself a lot, and I quickly noticed that as a kindergartener, my first grade brother was seen as infinitely more cool that me. So, while I had my two good friends, nobody really cared about me. They all knew me as “John’s little brother” or “Little john.” (ironic, since I hate rap).
So, here are the main three things that I have taken from kindergarten in retrospect:
1. Injuries are embarrassing.
2. Green skittle are the best band-aid
3. Popularity isn’t everything, it’s best to find one or two good friends and let the rest of the world go by as they want.
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